Have you ever stopped to think of how social media affects couples? The great irony of technology is that it can both simplify and complicate your life if you’re not careful.
Maybe you haven’t consciously thought of how social media affects your most vital relationship. But, at least on the subconscious level, you’ve noticed the impacts it has had.
So how exactly can social media influence your relationship? For good and bad, here are some likely ways.
Social Media Can Have a Positive Impact on Couples’ Relationships
Yes, social media can have some positive results for couples although more than one eyebrow would raise at the thought.
That’s because it’s more common to call out the dangers than to recognize its merit.
One positive point of social media usage for couples is that you can interact with people whom, in the days before social media, you would’ve inevitably lost touch with. Some, you never would have seen or heard from again.
Such a resource is more valuable today than ever before given how increasingly mobile we are. Social media allows you to make sense of the “chaos” of modern life by not losing touch with so many people. It can help things feel less overwhelming and more connected in that sense.
Especially, for those you’re closest to on social media, some deeper friendships can form due to shared circumstances and interests. Those certainly are good things in our often-disconnected culture.
Also, some social media options can be incredibly effective in landing a job, keeping up your professional networks and helping others find their fit in the career world.
The Danger of An Inaccurate Self Portrayal on Social Media
One common way that that social media affects couples negatively is through an inaccurate view and portrayal of self.
Who can you be on social media? Most of the time, anyone you want to be. That may sound good to some but it can have some unhealthy side effects on your relationship.
“Studies and personal experience reveal people tend to put their best foot forward while interacting on social media. Displays of emotional weakness, insecurity, or conflicts generally tend to be concealed or minimized on social networking sites,” says licensed psychologist, Shelley Bonanno.
That means you or your partner can at the same time be the envy of all your social media “friends” and privately feel unhappy with your life. All it takes for such a deception are the right words and photos.
You may begin to feel everyone loves your online persona and become baffled as to why that isn’t the case in real time.
Because online relationships are almost always more superficial than ones in real time, you could lose touch with what real relationships are about.
You could forget that in-person relationships are messy. It’s making sense of the mess that leads to fulfilling long-term romantic relationships, not denying that the mess exists.
And no matter who your partner was–even if you could try out a thousand of them—you would find a shared “mess.” That imperfection in each of you to improve upon so you could reach an increasingly happier life together.
Neglecting Your In-Person Relationship Because of Social Media
Overuse of social media affects couples’ relationships negatively, as well.
Over time, social media addiction can break down previously healthy relationships. In extreme cases, one partner will completely shut out real-time relationships in favor of virtual ones.
The problem is that real-life relationships are almost always deeper in nature. The addicted partner becomes starved of real relationships including their romantic one.
In turn, the ignored partner experiences a range of unpleasant emotions from being consistently shut out. Emotional and physical intimacy wanes on both sides creating an ever-widening division between the couple.
The resulting environment becomes dangerous for obvious reasons. The social media- addicted partner struggles with the fact that their virtual friends are more understanding. The ignored partner likely feels better understood by those in real time other than their partner.
And so, unless the cycle is broken, the relationship continues to break down over time. Both partners can wind up in danger of seeking physical and emotional affection from someone outside their committed relationship. An affair obviously causes the relationship to disintegrate all the more rapidly.
In Conclusion
While a balanced use of social media can add to the health of your relationship, too much time given to it will cause your relationship to suffer.
It’s important to communicate expectations with your partner about social media usage. Discuss reasonable amounts of time to devote to it as well as safeguards to prevent an emotional or physical affair.
Working with a trusted professional can bring added support as a couple so you don’t have to walk this path alone.
Is social media usage hurting your relationship? You can find freedom with the proper support and improve your relationship in the process.