Relationship Therapy

How to Get More Romance in Your Relationship—Light the Fire

Wondering how to get more romance in your relationship? Lighting (or relighting) the fire of romance is key in that case.

If you’ve gone camping, one of the first things you likely did was start a fire. Getting that pesky fire started isn’t always as easy as it may initially seem. And, it takes a lot of work to turn it into a strong, healthy fire. It also requires ongoing attention to make sure the fire doesn’t die out.

Have you ever felt that the romance in your relationship wasn’t much more than a fading ember? How can you ignite it into a beautiful flame of romance even years after you’ve met?

Building a lasting relationship of oneness and intimacy takes commitment to meeting each other’s physical and emotional needs. When you and your partner are dedicated to this, you’ll be fanning the flames of romance in your relationship.

As humans, we need closeness and intimacy. Although relationships can’t be built solely on romance, it’s a necessary ingredient in the recipe for a successful and enjoyable bond.

It’s kind of like the icing on top of a cake. And what fun is cake without icing?

If you’re wondering how to get more romance in your relationship, here are a few ways to help fan that flame.

Never Stop Learning About How to Improve Your Relationship

Remember studying for that chemistry exam? You got to know the periodic table inside and out.

Study your spouse in the same way. What makes them tick? How do they like to relax? Get to know their likes and their dislikes, not only in the bedroom but in everyday life.

Real romance isn’t selfish but selfless (that’s what makes it so powerful)! It’s thinking of how to please your partner above yourself.

Flowers. Honest compliments. Dinner out. Playing catch at the park. A last minute get-a-way. Think of those little things that caused you to fall in love with your partner in the first place and fall in love with them all over again.

Make the One You Love a Priority with Your Schedule

It may sound simple but you need time together. No time equals no romance.

It could sound almost too businesslike—to sit down with a calendar and schedule romance into your life.

However, if “life” seems to be getting in the way, it may be time to take the tack out of the calendar on the kitchen wall and make some plans with your significant other.

Not only can you make time for the love of your life, but you can also anticipate those moments together, making them extra special.

Get Creative in Your Relationship

Spontaneity makes for an excellent romance builder. There’s nothing worse than a dreadfully predictable schedule where nothing even remotely interesting ever happens.

You don’t necessarily have to empty your wallet to rekindle romance in your relationship, either. Think outside the box. It’s important to communicate to your mate that they’re a priority to you.

This can be done an endless number of ways. A walk on the beach or picnic on the living room floor with a back rub to follow.

Remember to talk! Use that sweet pet name you called your partner early in your relationship. And never forget to say those three powerful words, “I love you”.

Hold Hands as a Couple

It’s not just for first dates. Holding hands, regular hugs and kissing are the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the power of physical touch.

Like a picture paints a thousand words, a kiss can speak a thousand more. Make your spouse feel special. Keep the alone time in your room together relaxing and fun.

Be physically affectionate throughout each day. There’s no need to compartmentalize it, saving it only for the bedroom.

Summarizing How to Get More Romance in Your Relationship

Romance is an outward expression of unconditional love for your partner. It’s the part of your relationship that proves you still desire each other, that you’re still moved by each other’s company. It’s what makes being together fun and exciting.

In her Psychology Today article entitled ‘7 Ways to Keep the Flame Alive in Your Relationship,’ Abigail Brenner M.D. shares this piece of wisdom:

The bottom line is to never take your partner or your relationship for granted. Although you may not feel that rush of love and excitement you once felt when you first met your partner and began dating, it’s important to find ways to keep the flame alive.”

Like a glowing fire in a fireplace needs fuel and attention, so does a romantic relationship. But it’ll be well worth the warmth and comfort it brings!

Are you struggling with how to get more romance in your relationship? If so, Therapy With Compassion is here to help. You can schedule an appointment with us for Valencia, CA relationship counseling.