Spring is Here! Most of us learned from our moms to do some Spring Cleaning each year in March or April. What does Spring Cleaning mean? Out with the old, de-clutter, get rid of junk, and make room for new, clean, and healthier things. So, let’s look at how you may hold on to your feelings. It’s time to do some Spring Cleaning emotionally, and let go of old, negative or angry feelings so you can feel better and make room for happy, healthier feelings.
Have you heard of people being passive? When someone is passive, they hold all there feelings inside and don’t express them. A passive person allows other people to say and do whatever they want and allows others to walk all over them. Sometimes these people are seen as “doormats.” This communication style is passive. It’s indirect because friends, family, and co-workers never really know how they feel. Passive communication is unhealthy. When people internalize their feelings, many times they become sick with physical symptoms, a cold, depression or anxiety.
In order for relationships to thrive, there needs to be healthy communication. How do you do this? First, try to express your feelings in an open and honest way that does not hurt the other person’s feelings. Your loved one wants to know what you are thinking and feeling. Your wife, daughter, husband, or mother wants a better connection with you. Start by saying an “I” statement. “I feel hurt when you don’t talk to me and I would like us to talk more.” Make sure you identify your feeling. This is key. I need to warn you, “I” statements take practice. In the heat of the moment, it may be hard to identify how you feel. Or, it may take you repeating the “I” statement, three or four times before the other person really hears you. But, don’t give up. “I” statements work when the other person cares about you and your relationship with them.
So, it’s time for you to do some Spring Cleaning and de-clutter your feelings. Let go of all those negative or angry feelings. You don’t need them! If you feel like you need help with communication with your child, wife/husband, mother-in-law, or co-workers, individual counseling, couples counseling, or family counseling can be very helpful. Please don’t struggle, give me a call. I want to help.